I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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