I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
