I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
