are you still at the devil's house?
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
