just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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