Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
