Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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