I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
