Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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