Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
