You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
