So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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