its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
