the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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