Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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