But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
