he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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