This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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