I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I want is dick and wine.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
