And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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