I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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