what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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