am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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