Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
