He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
