Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
