I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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