im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
