I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
