whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
