For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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