Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
