That's intense
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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