A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
