dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
