What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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