I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
