gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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