you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
