I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
