Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
