I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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