He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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