Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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