But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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