John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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