so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
