Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
