I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
