remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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