You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
